Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) Journey: 3rd Trimester
Hey! Welcome back, I made it to the 3rd trimester of my pregnancy after loss.
To recap, this is my 6th pregnancy, 3rd (god willing) earth-side/living child, and 2nd rainbow baby.
Thanks for sticking around and reading my journey and how I navigated through PAL.
In this post I will be taking you through weeks 28-39 (when I gave birth at 39w 5d)
28 Weeks Pregnant
At my 28-week appointment, my OB said that baby boy was measuring a week ahead. She said when I come back in 4 weeks for my appointment that she wanted to do a growth scan as well to make sure baby is growing on track. I had no objections of course, who doesn't want to get another ultrasound to see their growing babe? I asked if this is normal as I never had to do growth scans with my other children and she said she just wanted to be extra cautious. For that I was grateful.
29 - 31 Weeks Pregnant
These weeks were full of Christmas parties. We had something every weekend, which kept us very busy.
I also got into a bit of a nesting stage in these weeks. Due to Christmas coming and all the gifts my kids would be receiving, I did a lot of sorting and getting rid of toys they no longer play with to make room for new ones and I bought new storage for it all. (Sadly, I can report, that there are still too many toys :)) Christmas was very nice with my family. We had a blizzard around Christmas, so we were stuck in the house for three straight days, but it was nice to relax and spend time just the 4 of us.
On Christmas Eve I jumped on the TikTok trend and did a silhouette picture of my pregnant self in front of the Christmas tree.
32 Weeks Pregnant
On December 27th, I went in for my appointment and growth scan. I was so excited to see baby boy again! The scan was showing that he was measuring right where he needed to be and everything looked great. the ultrasound tech tried to get pictures of his face, but the little stinker would not turn around and had his face snuggled up to the placenta. She tried the 3D option and all we could see was the back of his ear! Of course, I was glad that everything was great with baby, but I was bummed I didn't get to see his face. I met with my OB after the ultrasound and she said she wanted to do another growth scan at 36wks. I was like YAY another ultrasound!
33 - 35 Weeks Pregnant
We rang the new year, bring on 2023! In the month of January, we went on a few family outings. Soaking up the last few weeks we had as a family of 4. In order to get out of the snowy Michigan weather, we decided to go to a hotel for a night to let the kids enjoy the pool. We invited some friends and their families and had a blast (even though my daughter fell in the pool area and busted open her chin, poor baby!) On another weekend we cashed in on a Christmas gift for our children and took them horseback riding. It was so fun and the kids absolutely loved it! I also took maternity photos, unfortunately the photographer I had scheduled was unable to take the photos due to illness, but my husband took some photos outside of the kids and I in the snow and they turned out pretty cute.
36 Weeks Pregnant
During week 36 I went to my appointment and got another ultrasound. This time, baby boy cooperated. Everything was looking perfect and I got to see his beautiful little face and chubby cheeks on 3D.
37-39 Weeks Pregnant
During the end of week 37 we had a family sledding day at my parents' house. I definitely over did it going up and down the snow hill. Lots of Braxton Hicks that night and I remember telling my husband that night that I think it was time. But alas I woke up still pregnant haha.
At 39 weeks exactly, February 14th I went in for what would be my last OB appointment. Business as usual, measure and check the heartbeat. She found the heartbeat and held the doppler there for a while. She said his heartrate was lower than normal and ordered a non-stress test. So, I went to another room and they hooked me up to the monitor and left me for 30 minutes. No one really explained to me what they were looking for on the stress test results, so I didn't even know what the spikes on the sheet meant or whether they were good or bad. The tech took the results to my OB and then returned saying that it would be another 30 minutes of monitoring. I asked what they were looking for and the tech half ass explained to me what the spikes meant and what the OB wanted to see, something about "roller coaster lines." When she left I just started to panic and softly cry. I was overthinking and I couldn't really feel him moving that much either, the tech even gave me juice to drink as well to get him moving. I kept thinking, we are so close to having him here, just let there be no problems, let him be here safe in my arms. I sent a Snapchat (pic below) to my sisters and mom. Two of my sisters said they have had non-stress tests and reassured me that everything was ok. My mom told my husband that I was worried, so he called me and of course I cried while we were talking. He told me that he was on his way that he would leave work and I told him just to stay put and let's wait and see what the doctor says.
Apparently I had the "roller coaster lines" that the OB was looking for because they said that I was good to go....but that was it. Ugh it was so frustrating. I called my nurse practitioner sister and told her what happened. She reassured me it was going to me ok, but she had a lot of questions for me that I just couldn't answer. I am not a very good advocate for myself when it comes to doctors, sadly. Be an advocate for yourself, ask questions and get answers! All of my sisters' questions had me worried so I called my OB. Her nurse call me back and told me more about the results and how they were happy with the heartbeat, she also mentioned that dopplers sometimes can't get good readings, so they were being extra cautious, etc. This had me feeling better, plus baby boy was moving more like normal and that was more reassurance. But man, for a non-stress test....I was way STRESSED out! My appointment was in the morning before work, so I called my boss and said that I needed the day off, I was way to emotional to come into work and focus on anything else. My husband decided that I should meet him for lunch, so I did that and we talked and had a nice Valentine's Day lunch.
The rest of the week was normal, he was moving around good, sleep was hard to come by, I was uncomfortable, you know...normal 3rd trimester stuff. Friday the 17th I was having contractions at work, it was my last day of work and I was to start maternity leave on Monday, the 20th, whether or not baby was here. I thought for sure he would come that night, I even went on an extra-long walk that evening with my dog, but nothing! Saturday during the day, same thing contractions on and off, but nothing too close together. My husband even called out of work because he knew I was getting close and I'm so glad he did because I was so tired and he helped a lot with the kids. I went for a walk in the afternoon and another that night, determined to walk this baby out of me. It was frustrating because with my other pregnancies' contractions meant baby is coming like that day. I just felt done with being pregnant and being anxious and I wanted him out and here with me. So off to bed I went....
39 Weeks and 5 days Pregnant
Sunday morning around 1am a contraction woke me up. The contractions were about 15-20 mins apart. I tried to go back to sleep, but then I decided today was the day, so I got up and grabbed my yoga ball and went into the nursery to bounce...literally sat and bounced and watched Shameless on Netflix. I did this for about 4 hours until my contractions were 7-10 mins apart. I then called my mom around 5:30am to tell her it was time and to come watch the other two kids. She knew I was having contractions all weekend and was told to be on standby (she is the best mom and grandma ever).
I then woke my husband up and told him it was baby time, I told him while we wait for my mom that I was going to take a shower and he should pack his hospital bag...because of course he wasn't packed yet haha. I of course had been packed for 4 weeks ;) By the time my mom came, the contractions were 5 mins apart. We got to the hospital around 6:30am and I was already dilated to 7cm. Everything moved pretty quickly from there, I was admitted and I got an epidural soon after.
At one point there was a swarm of nurse and doctors in my room, I had no idea what was going on, but I knew something was up because it wasn't time to push yet. My nurse told me that they lost the heartbeat...with some repositioning they were able to find it again, but they do not play with that stuff! Which I am very appreciative of. After that little scare happened I was praying to God to just let him come and let him be safe and healthy. Like c'mon let this be over! I was 10cm dilated around 11:30am and within 3 sets of pushes on Sunday, February 19th, 2023 at 12:21pm he was here...our double rainbow baby: Roland Luciano
I wish I could say this pregnancy was so great and that I loved every second of it...but that fear and that anxiety that sadly comes with being pregnant after loss is so real and it stayed with me up until the moment he was here. I wish I had savored my pregnancy more, but that is easier said than done when you are going through it. All I know is that PAL is so very worth it to me. Worth every second of the hard parts of pregnancy after loss. I love my son so much, he is the perfect addition. It was a long 5 years for me and my family...6 pregnancies, 3 losses, and 3 children later, our family is now complete <3 We made it.
Thanks for sticking around if you have read through all the chapters/trimesters of this PAL Journey. I also apologize that it took this long. Life has been crazy busy for me lately.
Love to you all
-Katie